Durante mi embarazo, traté de estar lo más tranquila posible...
Dicen que es muy importante y que el nerviosismo y el estrés de la madre durante el embarazo se transmite directamente al bebé, pudiendo afectar no sólo a su correcto desarrollo mientras está en la barriga de la madre sino incluso a su comportamiento una vez nacido. Seguí con mi rutina habitual, trabajaba desde casa, paseaba algunas tardes, cocinaba tranquilamente (sobre todo al final me dio una neura tremenda por la repostería... cuando nunca me han gustado mucho los dulces, ni siquiera entonces me los comía! Los hacía para quien los quisiera y ya!), leía, veía Mad Men y Anatomía de Grey, hacía mi sesión diaria de yoga, por la mañana al levantarme meditación, y por la noche antes de dormir, pranayama, que no es otra cosa que hacer respiraciones.
Desde que Teo nació, y aún ahora que ya han pasado trece meses, son muchas las personas que comentan lo alegre que es y lo tranquilo que está siempre, y estas personas suelen ser desconocidos. Nuestros amigos y familiares, pues más aún, claro, porque además de que estas cosas son verdad, también se ven "cegados" por el amor al gordito ;) No se si él será así por mis cuidados en el embarazo o, simplemente, es genético. Sí es cierto que Teo es independiente, muy alegre, y tranquilo. También tiene sus momentos, no creáis; por ejemplo, son cortas las temporadas que ha habido en que duerma toda la noche del tirón, ahora por ejemplo se mueve mucho en la cuna, y protesta a menudo porque se queda encajado en perpendicular al sentido del colchón, pero la verdad es que esto es de lo único que nos podemos quejar, de no poder descansar bien de noche, porque de resto es adorable, simpático y come todo y de todo. También nos reímos con estas situaciones del no-dormir pues, por ejemplo, anoche que durmió con nosotros un buen rato, hubo un momento en que Juan se despertó y vio que entre nosotros había unos pies y no una cabeza de bebé. Jaja, pobrecito, eso lo ha heredado de mi que también me muevo mucho durmiendo.
Volviendo al embarazo, y a pesar de lo tranquila que estuve, una vez nació Teo no me sentí tan tranquila. Ahora, habiendo pasado el tiempo, recuerdo momentos de inquietud e incluso algún instante de alarma. Pero como suelo escribir en mi libreta mis pensamientos, no tengo más que cogerla y releer sobre aquellos días. Y lo que me he encontrado no es sólo inquietud o alarma momentánea provocada por el desconocimiento y la inexperiencia, sino momentos de verdadera angustia, no muchos afortunadamente, pero provocados por lo que yo misma dejé que me afectara el comportamiento de algunas personas que estuvieron alrededor en los primeros meses de maternidad. Ahora, desde lejos, no es que lo encuentre absurdo, pero sí me da pena. No padecí de depresión post-parto, pero a días me sentí desbordada por la exigencia el aprendizaje, es decir, instintivamente daba al bebé todos los cuidados que necesitaba, además me gustaba (y me gusta) hacerlo, pero reconozco que las preguntas y opiniones constantes de quienes ya eran experimentados en la materia me hacían dudar de mi propio criterio e incluso de si estaba siendo una buena mamá para Teo. Mi tía me contó algunas anécdotas de sus inicios como madre cuando yo aún estaba embarazada y me confesó que como era habitual que muchas de las personas de tu alrededor opinaran más de la cuenta sobre lo bien o mal que lo haces en esos primeros momentos y que, queriendo dar consejos o ayudar, al final parece que debas criar a tu hijo/a como ellos/as dicen, te sale una especie de instinto salvajemente protector que te hace estar en tensión porque, aunque seas nueva y no sepas, ya eres madre y esa personita tan pequeña es tu bebé y su vida depende sólo de ti. Ella llama a ese instinto "la leona que llevas dentro". Siempre he creído que mi tía es muy sabia. Mi prima y yo la llamamos El Oráculo, jaja.
Es comprensible esta tensión. Creo que casi todos los que tienes cerca cuando nace tu primer bebé desean ayudarte de verdad, lo que ocurre es que las personas a veces no sabemos transmitir bien nuestras intenciones y no nos olvidemos tampoco de que, tras el parto, nuestras hormonas se vuelven aún más locas mientras buscan su sitio de siempre, y la alegría alterna con la tristeza sin que te des cuenta. Las nuevas mamis, y también los nuevos papis, pasan por mucho y la tensión es palpable. Afortunadamente, el amor y la alegría compartida entre todos, también.
Las que sois madres, ¿os sentísteis bajo mucha presión tras dar a luz? ¿Supisteis desenvolveros en vuestro nuevo papel con rapidez u os costó un tiempo? Me encantaría conocer vuestras experiencias y comprobar si lo mío fue algo tan habitual como creo que es.
Foto del título via Roots for Wings (Traducción: No digo que vaya a ser fácil. Digo que va a valer la pena). La b/n somos Juan y yo (nuestra sombra) poco antes de dar a la luz, y la última son los mofletes de Teo (él está detrás de ellos), con tan sólo un día de vida.
During my pregnancy, I tried to be as calm as possible. They say it is very important because the nervousness and stress of the mother during pregnancy is directly transmitted to the baby and may affect not only its proper conduct while in the belly but also to their behavior once born. I continued with my usual routine, working from home, walking a few afternoons, leisurely cooking (especially at the end I was psyched by baking... even when I've never liked sweets very much! I barely ate them, I just was baking for those who wanted them!), reading, watching Mad Men and Grey's Anatomy, my daily yoga, meditation in the morning when I wake up, and at night before bed, pranayama, which is nothing else to do breaths.
Coming back to pregnancy, and despite how calm I was, once Teo was born I didn't feel so calm. Now time has passed by, I remember moments of uneasiness and even some moment of alarm. But as I often write my thoughts on my notebook, I just have to take it and read about those days. And what I found is not just momentary concern or alarm caused by the ignorance and inexperience, but moments of real anguish, fortunately not many, but caused by me letting myself to get affected by the behavior of some people who were around in the first months of motherhood. Now, from afar, not that I find absurd, but I'm sorry. I think I didn't suffer baby blues, but I felt overwhelmed some days by the learning demand, I mean, I instinctively gave the baby all the care he needed, plus I liked it (and so do I now), but I recognize that all that questioning and giving opinions from those already experienced in this area made me doubt my own judgment and even if I was being a good mom to Teo. My aunt told me some anecdotes of her early days as a mother when I was still pregnant and told me that, as it was usual many of the people around you were judging over the odds on how well you are doing in those first moments and, wanting to give advice or help, in the end it seems that you should raise your baby like they say, you feel some kind of wildly-protective instinct which makes you tense because, even if you are new and don't know the how-to, you're already a mom, and this so tiny person is your baby and his life depends only on you. She calls this instinct "the lioness in you." I have always believed that my aunt is very wise. My cousin and I call her the Oracle, haha.
This tension is understandably. I think the most people you have around when your first baby is born really want to help, what happens is that we people sometimes don't know well convey our intentions and do not forget either that, after giving birth, our hormones become even more crazy while they are looking for their usual place, and joy is alternating with sadness without you noticing. New moms, and new dads, go through a lot and the tension is palpable. Fortunately, love and joy shared by all, too.
Those who are moms, were you feeling under too much pressure after giving birth? Did you feel confortable in your new role quickly or it took a while? I'd love to hear your experiences and check if mine was as common as I think.
Top photo via Roots for Wings. Next, Juan and me (our shadow) some days before giving birth. The last one is Teo behind his cheeks, he was one-day-old.
Es comprensible esta tensión. Creo que casi todos los que tienes cerca cuando nace tu primer bebé desean ayudarte de verdad, lo que ocurre es que las personas a veces no sabemos transmitir bien nuestras intenciones y no nos olvidemos tampoco de que, tras el parto, nuestras hormonas se vuelven aún más locas mientras buscan su sitio de siempre, y la alegría alterna con la tristeza sin que te des cuenta. Las nuevas mamis, y también los nuevos papis, pasan por mucho y la tensión es palpable. Afortunadamente, el amor y la alegría compartida entre todos, también.
Las que sois madres, ¿os sentísteis bajo mucha presión tras dar a luz? ¿Supisteis desenvolveros en vuestro nuevo papel con rapidez u os costó un tiempo? Me encantaría conocer vuestras experiencias y comprobar si lo mío fue algo tan habitual como creo que es.
Foto del título via Roots for Wings (Traducción: No digo que vaya a ser fácil. Digo que va a valer la pena). La b/n somos Juan y yo (nuestra sombra) poco antes de dar a la luz, y la última son los mofletes de Teo (él está detrás de ellos), con tan sólo un día de vida.
During my pregnancy, I tried to be as calm as possible. They say it is very important because the nervousness and stress of the mother during pregnancy is directly transmitted to the baby and may affect not only its proper conduct while in the belly but also to their behavior once born. I continued with my usual routine, working from home, walking a few afternoons, leisurely cooking (especially at the end I was psyched by baking... even when I've never liked sweets very much! I barely ate them, I just was baking for those who wanted them!), reading, watching Mad Men and Grey's Anatomy, my daily yoga, meditation in the morning when I wake up, and at night before bed, pranayama, which is nothing else to do breaths.
Since Teo was born, and even now thirteen months already passed by, many people talk about how happy he looks and how calm he always is, and these people are often unknown. Our friends and family, even more because, of course, in addition to these things are true, they are also "blinded" by loving the tiny ;) Don't know if he is this way because my care in pregnancy or, simply, is genetic. It is true that Teo is independent, very happy, and peaceful. He has his issues, you know, for example, the seasons he has been sleeping through the night are short, for example now he squirms in his crib, and protests because he is often stuck in perpendicular to the direction of mattress, but the truth is that this is the only thing we can complain of, being unable to sleep well at night, because the rest of the time he is adorable, friendly and eats anything and everything. We also laugh at these non-sleeping situations, for example, last night he slept with us for a while, and there was a time when Juan woke up and found out that between us there were feet, and not a baby's head. Haha, poor thing, he should have inherited it from me, I move too much while sleeping.
Coming back to pregnancy, and despite how calm I was, once Teo was born I didn't feel so calm. Now time has passed by, I remember moments of uneasiness and even some moment of alarm. But as I often write my thoughts on my notebook, I just have to take it and read about those days. And what I found is not just momentary concern or alarm caused by the ignorance and inexperience, but moments of real anguish, fortunately not many, but caused by me letting myself to get affected by the behavior of some people who were around in the first months of motherhood. Now, from afar, not that I find absurd, but I'm sorry. I think I didn't suffer baby blues, but I felt overwhelmed some days by the learning demand, I mean, I instinctively gave the baby all the care he needed, plus I liked it (and so do I now), but I recognize that all that questioning and giving opinions from those already experienced in this area made me doubt my own judgment and even if I was being a good mom to Teo. My aunt told me some anecdotes of her early days as a mother when I was still pregnant and told me that, as it was usual many of the people around you were judging over the odds on how well you are doing in those first moments and, wanting to give advice or help, in the end it seems that you should raise your baby like they say, you feel some kind of wildly-protective instinct which makes you tense because, even if you are new and don't know the how-to, you're already a mom, and this so tiny person is your baby and his life depends only on you. She calls this instinct "the lioness in you." I have always believed that my aunt is very wise. My cousin and I call her the Oracle, haha.
This tension is understandably. I think the most people you have around when your first baby is born really want to help, what happens is that we people sometimes don't know well convey our intentions and do not forget either that, after giving birth, our hormones become even more crazy while they are looking for their usual place, and joy is alternating with sadness without you noticing. New moms, and new dads, go through a lot and the tension is palpable. Fortunately, love and joy shared by all, too.
Those who are moms, were you feeling under too much pressure after giving birth? Did you feel confortable in your new role quickly or it took a while? I'd love to hear your experiences and check if mine was as common as I think.
Top photo via Roots for Wings. Next, Juan and me (our shadow) some days before giving birth. The last one is Teo behind his cheeks, he was one-day-old.
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